Saturday Swindle

Bandits United. We Shot The Sheriff

Golf Slang Compliments of Simon Jee

GOLF SLANG

 

TEE SHOTS

A Sally Gunnell

Ugly but will run well (a poorly hit shot that goes along the ground for a good distance

A Paula Radcliffe

Not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but will run for miles

A Condom

Safe but didnít feel really good

A Glenn Miller

Kept low and didnít make it over the water

A Yasser Arafat

Ugly and in the sand

A Gerry Adams

A Provisional (playing a second shot if you think your first is lost)

An O J Simpson

Got away with it

A Princess Grace

Should have taken a driver

A Michael Jackson

Gradually fading (going off line)

A Douglas Bader

Looked good in the air but didnít have the legs

A Ken Livingstone

Way off left

A Jean-Marie Le Pen

Too far right

An Arsene Wenger

Everyone saw where it went but you

 

FAIRWAY SHOTS

A Kate Winslet

A little bit far (hitting too much of the ground) but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss

A but thin (hitting too high on the ball)

A Michael Barrymore

A long iron

A Russell Grant

A fat iron

A Wilfred Bramwell

A thin iron

A Peter Mandelson

An unbelievable iron

An Arthur Scargill

A great strike but a poor result

A son-in-law

Not what you wanted but itíll do

 

IN A HAZARD

 

 

An Eva Braun

Picked up in the bunker

A Saddam Hussain

Go from bunker to bunker

A Chuck Berry

(In the tees) no particular place to go

A Red October

Underwater and you wonít find it

 

PUTTING

A Cuban

Ball needed one more revolution

A Salman Rushdie

Putt that is impossible to read

A Rock Hudson

Thought it was straight but it wasnít

A Dennis Wise

A nasty five footer

A Diego Maradona

A very nasty five footer